Holiday Special: Setting Loving Boundaries

By Golda Poretsky
So we're officially into December, and that often means holidays and holiday celebrations.

For many of us, that also means dealing with family members, some of whom may not respect our choices. These choices can range from what we eat, to how much time we want to spend with them, to what we wear, to who we sleep with.

In other words, you may be hearing a lot of:

"Why don't we see you more?"

"Where's that boyfriend of yours?"

"Are you sure you want a second piece of cake?"

These are just a few examples, and I'm sure at least one resonated with you.

If you've grown up with food and body image issues, you probably learned from a young age to "just deal" with these comments, to just handle it, be a peacemaker, and not say much back other than an attempt to justify your choices.

So let's talk about how you can change this dynamic. The way to do it is to set loving boundaries with the people you love.

Why Set Boundaries?

Here's an example. Let's say you're staying with your family of origin Christmas Eve Day and Christmas Day (which fall on a Friday and Saturday this year), and your mom really wants you to stay through Sunday night. You, on the other hand, really want to leave Saturday evening so that you have Sunday to relax before a really heavy workweek.

If you set this boundary with your mom and make it clear that you're leaving on Saturday evening, you get a lot of benefits. You are being loving toward yourself by standing up and acknowledging what you need (key for healing from emotional eating, poor self esteem, and a variety of other issues) and you're getting what you need (a day to spend quietly at home). You're also being loving toward your mom, because she's clear on how you feel, you've said it in a kind way (more on that in a bit), and she can make the most of the time she has with you while you're there.

If you don't set this boundary, you end up with a lot of negative effects. You feel resentful toward your family for "making" you stay the full weekend. You miss out on that quiet Sunday that you so desire. And, once again, you're putting other people's needs before your own, sending the message to yourself that your needs are not as important as theirs.

How To Set Loving Boundaries

1) Acknowledge The Other Person, Their Feelings & Positive Motives
2) Make Your Request Clearly
3) Do So From A Place Of Asserting Your Needs, Rather Than Resentment

What This Sounds Like

Using the example above, it would sound like this: "Mom, you know I love to spend time with you and I know you want me to stay for the whole weekend, but I've decided to head back on Saturday night because I have a crazy week coming up at work. So let's just make the most of the time I'm here, okay?"

See, in this example, you're being very clear about how much you love your mother, and yet you're setting a boundary by also being clear about the choice that you've made.

And because it's the holiday season, here's something you can use when you're dealing with relatives who like to make comments about what you eat, or your weight or anything else that's totally inappropriate:

"I know you're concerned about me, but I don't feel comfortable when you comment on what I eat or my weight, so please don't do that again."www.facebook.com

If they don't take the hint, say it again. And again.

Just a note, setting boundaries can be really hard. Women (especially those with food and body image issues) are often taught to go along and put other people's needs ahead of their own. Just know that if this is really challenging for you, you are not alone, but trust me, the benefits of setting meaningful boundaries are great. Holiday Special: Setting Loving Boundaries

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Eating for Pleasure and Health Go Hand in Hand

By Jack Wogan
Lujan matus teaches how to use pleasure-seeking tendencies towards positive outcomes for mind and body.

The single biggest motivator to action in any area of life is pleasure, or the promise of it. For each individual this will have vastly different meaning, but essentially, what consistently drives us is a desire to experience whatever is it that spells pleasure for us.

On the downside, this powerful motivator is what keeps us going back for more even when we know something may not be in our best interests. It is the root of our addictions and can become a serious problem if we allow our will to be completely overridden by our pleasure dependence.

That is not to say that pleasure is the enemy - without pleasure life can be very drab indeed! But when we forgo our health, relationships, responsibilities and needs just to get what we want, we can rapidly find ourselves in a situation that is difficult to get out of and finally is not at all what we were looking for.

The great news is that the knowledge of how this mechanism works can be turned into a fabulous tool for taking our life back into our own hands. By becoming aware of how our lust for pleasure guides our choices, we can consciously redirect our concept of pleasure, translating positive life choices into something we truly want, and not just a guilty obligation.

How can we do this? When we reach for our favourite comfort foods, we are seeking the rush that we get from eating them. The after effects, which may be sluggishness, indigestion or unwanted weight, are a secondary consideration, delayed in time and therefore less immediate to our childish desire for instant gratification.

Here is where we experience an internal conflict. One aspect of ourselves is urging us to act on behalf of the immediate desire and another part is painfully aware that to do so would compromise our deepest wishes or our resolve to change. The problem is that we associate that part with denial of pleasure, which is where we often tend to lose the battle. The trick is to turn this cycle around at the fundamental level of feeling.www.facebook.com

By transferring the powerful drive of pleasure anticipation to the excitement of knowing how great we will feel when we eat the foods that are going to have us bursting with energy and feeling great about ourselves, we are already half way to changing our habits. It is so simple but surprisingly effective! With a little conscious re-direction, some day-dreaming and visualisation about all the benefits and rewards that healthy habits will bring, coupled with a determination to outgrow your own programming, you can become who you have always known you could be. And this reality is closer than you think. Eating for Pleasure and Health Go Hand in Hand

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A Bodily Sensation That Worries You

By Elisabetta Reist
Do you have fears or worries about sensations in your body? Are these sensations strong? Are they like a pain or are they unknown to you and are you not able to describe them?

First of all: your body always sends out messages. Most of them do not mean that you have to worry about. You feel the energy running in your body. You can feel it in your legs or in other parts of your body. Energy is always running. You do not always get aware of it.

If your head is heavy that does not mean that you are seriously ill. Neither does a pain in your guts or stomach mean it.

Sometimes there are cramps in your legs or hands. If they persist, you should not worry but find the explanation to them. and, if the case may be, help fro, a specialist. To worry is never good.

If you start worrying about your sensations, you create energy blockages. You get emotional, physical or mental or even spiritual blockages, in other words your energy cannot run smoothly through your body. To start with, this is no good. If you feel an unknown sensation let's say in your left leg, think of your right leg that does not have this same sensation. Always think of the part in your body that does not have an unknown or unpleasant sensation. Your energy will adjust. It will cure the unpleasant sensation and give you back the one you have in the other part of your body.www.facebook.com

Energy healing is information healing. You give it a thought and the energy goes to the place in your body that needs to be adjusted, that needs to be healed. If you cover your sensations with worries, they do get worse. That is not exactly what you are looking for. Think that your energy goes to the unpleasant sensation. It will eliminate it thanks to the information it has received. directly from the body and because you want it to go there. It is that easy. A Bodily Sensation That Worries You

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One Coin Has Two Sides

By Joe Wang
Many people have more or less bad habits in their lives. It is known to all that bad habits are bad for your health. However, scientists have found that "bad habits" are actually good for your health. Some people will suspect what I said. Here I would like to give your the answers.

A survey found that fidgeting can fights obesity. Scientists have found that people who usually seem to be on the go are more likely to be slim. They spend two more hours on playing than they friends everyday.

Believe it or not, drinking a few fizzy drinks can combat dementia. Though this may be bad for your teeth and body, if you drink two cans fizzy drink every day, it might help you avoid some diseases and improve your memory. In this way the elderly were struggling with short-term memory loss.

The loud music can stimulate brain. Perhaps it's beneficial to brain power once you head off to rock and roll festivals, or just turn up the volume on your home amplifier. Based on researchers at University, music followers are usually stimulating part of the inner ear referred to a special part, which responds to the beat in music. This can offer the brain pleasure and makes us feel good during the music.

Therefore, one coin has two sides, when you talk with some bad things that will be good in other respects. Of course, I won't want you to change into bad habits. Only just want to tell you things have their good and bad benefits, you should be aware of that.www.facebook.com

Joe has been writing articles online for nearly 1 year now. Not only does this author specialize in modern art, fitness and weight loss, you can also One Coin Has Two Sides

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Conscious Fitness - Keeping Outcome Goals Positive

By Dave C Smith
There are two different types of goals we use when we want to accomplish something, behavior goals and outcome goals. Behavior goals focus on your day to day behaviors keeping them in line with the outcome you desire. Outcome goals are what you consider the finish line to be. Before you can begin modifying behaviors, you need a clear detailed picture of where it is that you want to go. The more detailed and the better you feel about that destination the more likely it is that you're going to reach it.

It is said that "a goal not written down is just a dream". I firmly believe this. By writing your goal down you say to the universe that this is something you really want to accomplish. As mentioned in my last article, you want to have a few things included in your outcome goal to really make it effective. In the next few articles I will detail some things that I have learned over the years about writing goals in ways that make them more likely to be reached. To begin with let's analyze a very common goal. "I want to lose 10 pounds".

The first thing to keep in mind when writing your goal is to keep it positive, something you feel good about. It is very easy to write a positive goal in a negative way. For instance, "I want to lose 10 pounds" sounds positive. If someone lost 10 pounds they would be healthier, look leaner, and maybe fit into that favorite pair of jeans. Even though the idea sounds positive, I want you to think of the way it makes you feel when you say it out loud. Does it make you feel good? Excited? Pumped up and ready to work out? It doesn't make me feel any of those things. The fact is who really feels good about losing or quitting anything. Wouldn't you feel better or more excited about getting or gaining something? Imagine what it is that you hope to gain by being 10 pounds leaner. Is it a leaner physique? How about fitting into a favorite pair of jeans or wearing a bikini on vacation and feeling great doing so? By doing this and wording your goal about what you will gain, you will have a positive and excited feeling about your goal. That will translate to positive action that you're excited about instead of action taken grudgingly. You will look forward to your workouts and your eating plan.

Another important thing to remember in wording your goal are the words you choose. Notice above that I used the word "want". By using this word you're putting your goal on the same level as a dream, like winning the lottery, it would be nice but you really have no control over it. If you reword your goal with something more forceful and determined, it will create more action. The goal, "I want to lose 10 lbs" becomes "I am going to be 10 pounds leaner". Say it out loud and feel the force, the weight and the positive energy that comes from the wording.

The words we choose to use can create power and action or they can rob us of it. By changing these two small things when you write down your goal, you create for yourself a stronger will and a greater chance of success. There are two more things our goals must also have, they must be realistic and have a time frame. My next article will focus on these aspects. Until then be positive and stay conscious.www.facebook.com

I am a Corrective Exercise Specialist and a Specialist in Fitness Nutrition in Seattle WA. My purpose is to educate and teach others about how to incorporate health and fitness into their daily lives in a safe and effective way. I show that their is fitness everywhere we look, not just in a "gym" and it is about the conscious and, more importantly, the unconscious choices we make everyday. As a lifelong sufferer of back pain I live what I Conscious Fitness - Keeping Outcome Goals Positive

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New Year's Resolutions And New Ways To Make It Work

By Nicole Lanning
Decisions are these wonderful pacts we make to change something in our lives. It may be the way we eat, a bad habit we have been doing for many years, something we need to change, or maybe some new things we want to achieve in this special calendar for the best means in our lives. With our soul levels on an energetic grid of the planet, we have to remember that we have each new day to change things, but most commonly it is at the beginning of each new year. We are in constant evolution and flux, forward or backward, and do not forget to change things for our goals through our entire lives.

Holistic ways, from tackling issues with the approach we are using a connection-level body-mind-spirit, and the resolution of the problem underlying the current issue we are working on resolving with this change. For example, if you want to quit smoking for New Year's resolution, you have to hit all the key points to make it a success now and throughout your entire level on all areas - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and the underlying root cause.

For a mental aspect, this comes to the commitment that you quit. Make it an asset, because you will be healthier for the decision. Stay focused on positive aspects of your resolutions to make them stronger, and include feelings based confirmations to save them.

Body work issues, you need to make small adjustments to maintain healthy energy bodies during this time. The job of managing the energy to keep down the desire to stay focused and on target. Try herbal remedies, such as flavored toothpicks to cut cravings and keep you on track!

Spirit of connection time each day and work on meditation, journaling, and remain the foundation and center, while the physical body goes through these changes. This will help to monitor and maintain contact with the source of energy!

For the emotional aspect, remember to take notice of how you are feeling during these transition times. Make sure to write them down in your diary or journal, and see what can trigger off your habits of change and stay focused on the positive ones!www.facebook.com

The fight against the core of this issue is something that most professionals do not and that's a great help to keep everything together for successful change holistically. Spend time on introspection about why you have this habit, how it feels and why this started in your life in the first place. Note how you felt when you started, during and now changing. Stay focused on the emotional and release during this process to allow space for a new one is entered. New Year's Resolutions And New Ways To Make It Work

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The Meaning of Life and Human Destiny

By Sfire Ling
In the life of every normal human being sooner or later the moment comes when he wonders about the extremity of his individual existence. The man is the only creature who is aware of its mortality, and may make it the subject of meditation. But the inevitability of his own death is perceived by a person not as an abstract truth, and causes severe emotional distress, affects the very depths of his inner world.

The first reaction that follows the realization of their mortality can be a feeling of hopelessness and confusion, even panic. Overcoming this sense, the man the rest of life there, burdened with knowledge about their own impending death, and furthermore, this knowledge, hot in most situations in life, it lies in the hidden depths of consciousness, it is, nevertheless, fundamental in the subsequent spiritual development of man. The presence of such knowledge in the human spiritual experience to a large extent explains the severity with which to question him about the meaning and purpose in life.

Reflections on this issue for many people are starting point in developing what is called the main "line" of life, subjugates his behavior at different levels - whether it is society as a whole, or family or close friends. Deviations from this "line" often lead to painful moral conflicts that in his life, and its loss - to the moral and even physical death of a man. Purpose and meaning of individual life of every individual are closely connected with the social ideas and actions that define the purpose and meaning of human history, a society in which people live and work, humanity as a whole, its purpose, and therefore, the responsibility on the Earth and the universe. This responsibility clearly outlines the boundaries of what can and can not in any way to do individual and social level, people and humanity. The same is defined and then, by what means can or can not they obviate their goals, even if those goals were high. Every human life is not infinite, and ends with death, nothingness. Aware of the finiteness of his earthly existence, and wondering about the meaning of life, the person starts to develop their own attitudes toward life and death. It is quite clear that the subject is perhaps the overriding for each person occupies a central place in all of human culture. World Culture History reveals the eternal search for connection with the meaning of human life trying to unravel the mystery of nothingness, as well as the desire to live forever and if not financially, then at least spiritually, morally defeat death.www.facebook.com

Search for the answer to this question been engaged and mythology, and various religious teachings, and the arts, and many areas of philosophy. In contrast to the mythology and religion, which generally seek to impose, dictate a certain person's decisions, a philosophy, if it is not dogmatic, appeals primarily to the mind of man and comes from the fact that a man must seek the answer yourself, doing for it's own spiritual efforts. Philosophy also helps him, accumulating and critically analyzing previous experience of mankind in such searches. The Meaning of Life and Human Destiny

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